Wednesday, February 20, 2008

who's real? what's the(ir) use?

All the people around me seem to love but only shallowly. No one seems to really care. They love me which makes me feel good at the moment while I'm around their shallow love, but it's fleeting. That doesn't satisfy me. What's the use in having something that doesn't allow me to feel the same acceptance all day long? Why don't those people really make an effort to dig and see what makes up the surface they love? Is that as interesting as I am? Is that all that I'm worth? Is there nothing lovable in the depths of me? I try to do the same. I try to really care. I want to love deep...but I'm sure people could say the same of me...but if they point that hypocritical resemblance out, then it's a conditional response...a shallow reaction. I want the love that is unconditional. I want to love unconditionally.

Let's see what happens.

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

friends, rain, and a hopeless heart

I love my friends. I love hanging out with them, and I wish that was all I had to do or could do. I miss the ones that I don't see much anymore. I need more time and more money.

It's raining outside. I wish it would flood the entire city of Jackson.

I have no idea where I'm going in life. I'm directionless. It seems every aspect of my life from the smallest to the greatest is swarmed with confusion, blurred with indecision, choked by lack of vision, countered by opposition, deafened by distraction, detached from satisfaction, and stifled by civilization. ...The only thing I can identify as resolute is bread and wine--the body of Christ and the blood of Jesus--the only veritable source of comfort and security. In which, I will wait for a hope and a future.

Monday, February 4, 2008


So I have never done one of these and always thought they were stupid...but whatever. I'm bored.

Do you have any pets?
No :(
What was the last book you read?
The Bible Answer Book, The Bible, No More Christian Nice Guy...I'm not big on (leisurely/just for fun-pleasure) reading.
Do you like to cook?
What's your favorite food?
Steak or roast beef po'boys or pizza or everything
Are you good at cooking/swimming/etc?
cooking/swimming/etc? - what kind of category is that? -- yes?
Are you married or single?
facebook = married (love you Cam); real life = single
Do you have brothers and sisters?
yes - 2 sisters, one brother - & then the in-laws -1 sis-n-law, 1 bro-n-law
Are they older or younger than you?
Older -youngest of 4 - Trent, Kathryn, Elizabeth, & the miracle
Do you like baseball?'s ok. not to watch on tv - going to a game can be fun - playing it is better
Do you live alone?
no - three other people on the premises
Do you live in a house or an apartment?
house - the Alum house
Have you ever lived in another country?
Have you ever met a famous person?
How famous? - probably not
How do you spend your free time?
usually hanging with friends, sometimes alone in the dark, or making videos, or sports...whatever
How long have you been studying English?
? since I turned 18 ...or forever. I've mastered it.
How old are you?
How tall are you?
Tell me about a favorite event of your adulthood.
when did I become an adult?
Tell me about a favorite event of your childhood.
when I killed Bobby and buried him the backyard
What are your hobbies?
basketball, snowboarding/skiing, hiking, camping, watching movies, making videos, killing, burglary, hopscotch
What two things could you not do when you were.....?
?? um... I couldn't breathe until I was born...&...I couldn't write when I broke my right arm in the 2nd (or maybe 3rd?) grade.
What countries have you visited?
America...a lot, Canada, Mexico...does Puerto Rico count?
What country are you from?
Mississippi delta country (USA)
What do you do on Sundays?
The Link - FBCJ - after church..lunch..then whatever.
What do you do? What's your job?
Special Events Coordinator at the Jackson Zoo - plan/coordinate special & private events - sometimes ride the tigers around like He-Man screaming "d@mn you, Skeletor!"
What do you like to do in your free time?
torture people - how is this question different from "How do you spend your free time?"
What hobbies do you have?
wtf... stop repeating questions - see above
What is the nearest bus stop or train station to your house?
who cares
What is your motto?
people have mottos? - "Clear eyes, full hearts, can't lose." or "Live for something or die for nothing." or golden rule - "do unto others as you would have them do unto you." or ...?
What is your religion? (Perhaps not a good question in some situations.)
religion turns movements into monuments --- true Christianity - Jesus Christ is Lord
What kind of food do you like?
really? no short-term memory? see above
What kind of people do you like?
fat ugly ones...haha.. jk - any kinds - i love people.
What kind of people do you not like?
fat ugly ones...jk - invisible people
What languages do you speak?
english... some spanish, but not really
What two things could you not do when you were a child, but you can do now?
?...can/could buy tobacco and booze..ha.. drive vehicles... i don't know
What's something you do well?
murder ...haha. jk... ..nothing?.. not good at a lot of stuff - decent at some things maybe
What's your address? creepy. 555 Invisible Street
What's your father like?
What's your mother like?
What's your name?
What's your phone number?
What's your telephone number?
as opposed to my phone number?
When did you start to study English?
again? i'm doing the wrong set of questions
Where are you from?
the delta
Where do you live?
Where do you live? How long have you lived there?
still earth... 22 years + some months and days
Where were you born?
a hospital
Which sports do you like?
basketball, soccer...& then all of them
Who do you live with?
friends - Beas, Med, Ben
Who do you respect the most?
my dad, mikey B., Wes M.
Who has had the most influence in your life?
Jesus.... dad, friends, me
Why did you decide to take this course?
....?....i'm definitely taking the wrong questionnaire
Why do you want to learn English?
haha... i'm an idiot.
Would you like to be famous?
What do you think you will be doing five years from now?
being awesome...still.
Where do you think you'll be living five years from now?
who knows...?
What is your goal in life?
continue to be awesome....and to live a fulfilling life in Christ
Are you a 'morning' or 'night' person?
When do you feel best? In the morning, afternoon, or evening?
How many cities have you lived in?
What jobs have you done?
Big D (irrigation labor), Millbrook (cricket farm labor), Fleet Saftey (Install labor-police/patrol vehicles, fire/patrol vehicles, security vehicles), Intramural Director, Zoo
Which do you prefer, sunrises or sunsets?
either...both are nice.
What could you do as a child that you can't do now?
fit through smaller holes, care less, have my mom wash my clothes
Who is your next door neighbor in your home country?
some crazy crazy weird crazy lady
What is he or she like?
crazy....yeah..that's all I need to say..just crazy weird
Did you get along with each other?
with my neighbor?...sure, except I'm not crazy...whatever
What is the best memory of our country that you will take back home with you?
why am I still taking such a stupid random questionnaire ?
What is the worst memory of our country?
...because I'm an idiot and I have wasted this much time on it and come this far, so...yeah.
How many times did you move as a child?
none..well once.. i was 3 yrs old & it was a move within the same town, so it didn't matter.
Are you a task oriented person or a people oriented person?
What is the profile of the wife/husband you would meet?
what's going on?
What kind of woman/man would you like to marry?
An awesome woman - loves Jesus - loves me... whatever.